This Just In: Sprouting Rules!

I subscribe to a number of email discussion groups which talk about cooking techniques, recipes, and how to incorporate healthier stuff into one's diet. I consider myself to be something of a flexitarian: I'm not a big fan of red meat, and I avoid eggs because sunny-side-up is a royal pain in the ass to get right. However, I do like animal flesh from time to time (mainly poultry and/or anything in sushi form... mmmm, sushi!), and while I'm not majorly into other dairy products, I practically worship the ground that cheese walks on. Even so, many of my meals are vegetarian and/or vegan. I'm always trying to come up with cooking ideas that are interesting, fun, and not too hard on the ol' pocketbook.

A true favorite of mine when I lived in Redmond, WA in the 1990s was a snack called "Munchies and Crunchies." I could get these yummy little gems at the Safeway across the street from my apartment. They were basically a mix of peas, adzuki beans, and lentils with cute little sprouty tails on them. I loved them! True to their name, they were very crunchy and awesome for munching. I often craved the fresh taste and snappy texture, so it was with great sadness that I came to the realization that they were not available at any markets in New England after Fuzz and I moved here in 1999. (The time following was not without beseeching Google about "Where can I buy Munchies and Crunchies in Massachusetts?" / "How do you make munchies and crunchies?")

One of the discussions that I remember on a list years ago, was about "sprouting." There was this small faction of folks who'd fanatically proclaim to us all, "I'm sprouting! Oh yes indeedily-doodily, I love to sprout...Because I'M A SPROUTER!" I never really understood what "sprouting" was, though it seemed complicated and weird to me (I guessed they were alfalfa sprouts which required complicated tools and exotic hard-to-find supplies, as well as a large expanse of backyard in which to garden), plus I found their almost cultish enthusiasm more than a little off-putting. So I deleted those emails and moved on with my life.

Years later (about 3 weeks ago, to be exact), as I searched for ideas about what to feed my elderly pet rabbit in order to fatten him up after a bout of nasty health issues, I came across an online forum about making sprouts at home for pet birds. One of the things they suggested using were lentils. I thought, "What the hell!?" and poured half a cup of lentils (a bag which was supposed to go into a chili that I wound up being too lazy to make) into a big bowl of water to soak.

In the morning, I drained off the water as best as I could, rinsed the beans according to the instructions, and left things to settle. That was the night Fuzz and I went to see The Damned (who, by the way, gave an awesome performance! I especially loved how offended the youngsters were by their dirty jokes. Guess you can't make fun of pedophile priests in front of a Bostonian audience without ruffling a few feathers!)... by the time I'd given the lentils their final rinse, it was 2 a.m. and the little tails were starting to pop out. In just a few hours, these dormant dried lentils had come to life! I could hardly believe my eyes. These were a key component of Munchies and Crunchies, and I'd just made them! By myself!

The next day, the sprouts were even better! I rinsed everything and put them in an old pasta jar. I also did some research about how to keep the sprouts, and made some mesh tops for my jars -- yes, jars. (Fuzz brought me some whole peas a couple of days later so that I could make the most of my new experiment.)

It wasn't long before those lentils and peas had been eaten with gusto, and I was already starting in on my next batches. I'd gotten a bean mix from "seedmart" on eBay, and Fuzz surprised me with a bag of black turtle beans which turned out beautifully. My favorite are still lentils, which are the easiest of all (and great for beginners, hint hint!), and whole green peas. Best of all, I just finished my first bag of dried lentils after 3 weeks -- a bag which originally cost me just 80 cents! The peas were 95 cents, so this is an excellent pastime for anyone who wants to eat super-duper fresh produce and spend very little money. Plus, the best part is that you can make exotic salads and nonchalantly/proudly mention that YOU MADE the sprouts. It feels vaguely godlike -- I can see why those sprouters of years ago felt as if it were a religious experience.

EASY LENTIL SPROUTS FOR BEGINNERS:

Ingredients/Equipment:

1 very clean jar (save a pasta sauce jar and use that to start)
1 rubber band
1 bit of cheesecloth, mesh fabric, fishnet, whatever, etc. big enough to cover jar opening
1/2 cup dried lentils
about 2 cups cool water

Before placing lentils in the jar, rinse them in a strainer or a bowl big enough to allow you to stir them up well. Then, place lentils into your jar and fill the jar up with water. (Your half-cup of lentils will absorb water and become 2 to 4 times bigger!) Put your fabric over the mouth of the jar and secure with rubber band. Leave the lentils alone and let them soak for 8-12 hours.

After enough time has elapsed, dump the water (through the mesh) and add more, shaking the jar gently to rinse all the lentils. Dump the water again, and rinse a couple of times each day to avoid the growth of mold. The lentils will burst into life, and grow little sprouty tails! When you're satisfied with the size of the sprout, you're done! (You can eat them as soon as the sprout grows as long as the bean. The ones I did, pictured, got a little too long, but were tasty and healthy anyway.)

A few brief words of warning: Raw kidney bean sprouts are TOXIC. They will make you very sick, or kill you, so cook kidney sprouts before you eat them. Other sprouts, such as lentils, peas (whole peas only; split ones don't sprout), adzuki beans, and chick peas are safe and yummy raw. Also, do not feed sprouts of any kind to your pets until you're 100% sure they're safe for the animal to eat. Ask your vet or favorite animal expert. (Apparently bunnies like lentil sprouts, but I wanna check with my vet first!)

Sproutpeople.Com also has a ton of information. You can also get more exotic bean mixes there, as well as fancy supplies. :)

If you want to see videos about sprouting, check out these awesome folks! First, have a look at these wacky New Zealanders' video, which explains it perfectly!









...And, there's also this adorable Canadian girl showing us how to make broccoli sprouts from little seeds!

No-Sew Sachet for Lazy People

If you’re like me, you absolutely hate to throw anything away.




I believe that clutter can really bring down a person’s positive energy, so I try very hard to work through my packrat tendencies. I have been in a decluttering phase that’s lasted… oh, about half of my life now! I figure that if I absolutely must hang onto certain things, I’d better make sure that they can serve a functional purpose. Hence, my mission to reincarnate old things into new, awesome, functional stuff! Unlike a lot of crafty folks who seem to have infinite patience and dexterity, I’m more interested in instant gratification. In my opinion, the best projects (a) produce objects that are functional, rather than frivolous, (b) can be completed in the space of one afternoon, or even a few minutes, and (a) won’t clutter up my house too much during its creation, or after it’s finished and ready to enjoy!


It is with this spirit in mind that I share my very humble instructions for a sachet that requires no sewing.

Easiest Sachet Ever:

INGREDIENTS:

1 pretty, but mateless, sock
1-2 handfuls of scented stuff – try potpourri, pieces of leftover scented candles, or extra fabric scraps treated with your favorite essential oil
string, yarn, thread, or ribbon (even rubber bands, in a pinch!) — or just use leftover sock pieces


Trim the cuff and everything below the heel off of your sock. This sachet can be made with the heel/toe section, but I like to work with the ankle. Tie off one end with your string/ribbon/etc., and add the scented stuff (I used a handful of leftover junk from my old Frebreze Scentstories discs!). Tie off the top, trimming your sock ends as needed.

Sachets are wonderful for adding a nice little burst of scent to closets and drawers. You don’t need to spend piles of money on fancy little trimmings, but do make sure that you choose a scent that you love and that has some staying power. The simple construction of this type of sachet will enable you to change the scent when it becomes necessary.

I usually keep the leftover cuffs to use as hair elastics, because even those “ouchless” elastics are sometimes murder on my extremely delicate hair. Leftover cuffs are perfect because they’re gentle, and ready-made in colors to match most of my wardrobe. And hey, free hair accessory… one that I don’t worry about losing or breaking!

A word of caution here: DON'T make the same mistake I did, and use a "fuzzy" sock (pictured). If you do, as I have, you will need put in a few stitches to contain any stray sock fuzz. Or you can fold over the ends of the sock to create a finished hem before adding the rubber bands/elastics. These socks were a hostess gift from a lovely relative who stayed with us last fall. I fell in love with those adorable little crocheted flowers, and when the elastic began wearing out, I knew that I’d have to give them a new life!

Review: A Work of Cavi-Art

Last month, Fuzzband regaled me with some of his co-workers’ tales of woe about Valentine’s Day.

Apparently, some girlfriends and wives are harder to impress than others. I’ve always thought that I was definitely one of the more easily satisfied “V. D.”** gift recipients, but I suppose everyone thinks they’re easy to shop for than they actually are. As far as “V. D.” goes, my preferences are usually different than that of other people (OK, except my weakness for jewelry). I love roses because they make awesome potpourri and incense, but having them makes me feel totally guilty ’cause they’re so expensive. (Hell, I’d rather just get some really awesome incense, like from the Holy Rood Guild or something!) Fuzzband suggested that I start making lists for occasions wherein he’s run out of inspirado. Sure, it might not be as fun as a surprise, and a “Gimmie List” makes me feel like a total hog, but the benefits of saving time and money far outweigh my feeling like a selfish ass. And anyway, it was his idea, so that makes it OK. ;)
When quizzed by his co-workers about what he’d planned to buy me for “V. D.”, he replied with an item from my list. ”Vegan caviar,” he said, amid horrified expressions. I guess it’s not as cute and romantic as some stuff, but hey, it’s what I wanted. When you’ve been married for almost 9 years, you stop giving a shit about obscenely priced roses, and although candy is always appreciated, sickeningly sweet heart-shaped boxes just clutter up the house once the candy’s gone. (Jewelry’s okay, though.)
When the big day arrived, I peeled back the packing tape on the beautifully-wrapped UPS box containing my Cavi-Art, and produced 3 little jars of loveliness — one black, one red, and one that resembled ikura (salmon roe). I was surprised to see how good in the closed jar; if the label hadn’t said “Seaweed Caviar” on it, I’d never have known the difference. This stuff looked exactly like the real thing! Of course, looks aren’t everything, so I still had a healthy amount of skepticism.
Some of the reviews I’d seen of this product were all, “Maybe if I chill this first, it wouldn’t suck soooobad,” so I popped it into the fridge, wanting it to be ready for me as soon as I remembered to get new camera batteries. I did, however, sneak a taste of each jar prior to getting batteries… I just couldn’t resist trying it.
The ikura was the first one that I’d tried, and was the focus of one review that had truly worried me. The reviewer mentioned that there was an overpoweringly yucky dill flavor, and the stuff inside had an “oily” mouthfeel. This was not encouraging.
Real ikura is usually a deep orangey-red color. Upon removal from the jar, I saw that the mock ikura was much paler, and the brine that it floated in was very thin and watery, so it needed to be drained before I was able to have a decent sample. It also had these adorable little spotted bits, not unlike salmon roe, but much more obvious than actual ikura. Upon tasting, there was indeed what seemed to be a “dill pickle” note somewhere in there, but it wasn’t too overpowering for me, nor was it much of a turn-off. The balls of fake salmon roe popped nicely in my mouth, pretty similar to the real thing. I’d miss real ikura if I stopped eating it, but this stuff isn’t a bad substitute.
Visually, the red and black “lumpfish” varieties were dead ringers for the real thing. They didn’t have the same strong pickle essence as the ikura, and to me, the red didn’t taste any different than the black. I liked these “traditional” faux caviars a little better; not as salty as actual fish eggs, though they definitely had a strong veggies-in-brine type of flavor. The “eggs” were just the right size, though a bit more firm than the real thing, and yielded less liquid when they popped.
While I do love real caviar, I will definitely buy this product again. There are certain advantages to Cavi-Art, such as:
1. It won’t give you the runs, like regular caviar can. (Is it the high salt content or the cholesterol?)
2. This stuff keeps for weeks, maybe months! Eggs that come from an actual fish are good maybe a week, tops, before they need to be eaten or tossed. Cavi-Art is basically a pickled vegetable which can keep for a long-ass time. The jars that I got were about $8 each, which is a great price for something I don’t feel pressured to hurry up and use before it gets old.
3. The brine in Cavi-Art is clear. Real caviar often needs to be rinsed before using it as a garnish, or else you get nasty-looking fish juice all over your pretty hors d’oeuvre platter. Would my adorable little toast points with herbed creme fraiche look even half as sexy with a bunch of gunk all over them? Hells no!
4. The “lumpfish” style of Cavi-Art is firmer than true fish eggs, so if you stir it into something, the little eggs don’t immediately pop and discolor your food. They’re also easier to manipulate because you’re confident that they’re not going to break at the slightest provocation.
The only real drawback that I can think of is that Cavi-Art could stand to have a little more of a fishy taste; it’s definitely more of a veggie flavor. Even so, I’m still floored at how awesome it turned out to be. I’ll definitely be returning to their USA website for more when the need arises.
**(By the way… can someone tell me when the hell people started deeming it acceptable to refer to Valentine’s Day in its abbreviated form? Are people not aware of what they’re actually saying? Everytime I hear someone call it “V. D.,” it makes me snicker like a 12-year-old who caught her parents saying a bad word. For some of us, I guess every over-commercialized marketing ploy that The Man calls a “holiday” is at least as uncomfortable as an infested crotch — but even still, all of those people cluelessly spouting “V. D.” are pretty entertaining.)

Making Homemade Incense

Lately, I've been rather enamored of the idea of making my very own incense. I've long loved the resin-based style incense (i.e. dragon's blood, frankincense, copal, styrax, etc.). A few years ago, however, my husband bought me some really delicious church incense from the Holy Rood Guild; two cannisters of the most amazing floral- and wood-based scents in the world, Laudete and Jubilus. (I had wanted to try their third scent, Cantica, but it appears that the monks have stopped selling it to the general public. Darn!)

For my birthday, my husband bought me some lovely "Melchior" resin, and a powder-based rose & frankincense from Scents of Earth. He also got me some beautiful red roses. Each time I get flowers from someone, I have a tendency to let them dry out with the intention of making potpourri. (Whether or not I actually follow through with potpourri is another story!) This time, though, I thought it would be really awesome to try making my very own incense.

The first thing I did was to take the parts of the bouquet that I wanted to turn into incense. I removed all of the red petals and placed them in a small plastic tray; then I snipped away some of the leaves of the roses, as well as some of the bits of fern "garnish" that came with the bouquet. Then I took a few pieces of the baby's breath and added them whole, figuring that they'd all be crumbled to bits after everything dried. At that point, I was unsure about whether or not to use the bud remnants for the incense, so I decided to trim them from the stems and set them aside and put them in a glass nearby. I could always add them in later if I wanted.




It took about a week for the petal-leaf mixture to dry. I didn't do anything special to help them along, just left them in my little plastic tray. I would toss the mixture around in the tray once each day while I waited for it to dry. From time to time, I also gently mixed the glass of buds, but not quite as often. They're really delicate. They also took longer to dry than the petals. (Later, I decided not to use the buds for this project; instead, I saved them for a similar but related mini-project.)

Of course, the petals didn't smell as good dried as they did when they were fresh, so I knew I'd have to add some yummy scent to the mix. First, though, I crushed all of the petals, leaves, and baby's breath into a fine consistency. (It's more coarse than powder. Just a bunch of little bits.) Then, I added some Egyptian Rose essential oil, and a few drops of clove oil for a little extra dimension. I mixed it up really well, and then tried it out on my burning charcoal. It was awesome! I've already got ideas for the next batch of incense!! :)

Putting the Smackdown on "Perfect"

OK, I’ll admit it. I am a recovering perfectionist. Within the past couple of years, however, I realized that always trying to give 999% is not always the best course of action. It’s not an easy process, but I have begun to extract myself from the hold that “Perfect” has over my life.

Have you ever been so focused on doing everything right that you feel too overwhelmed to do anything at all? Check out my story and see if it rings any bells:
I remember when I first started my own retail business. I’d perpare orders for my customers, worrying incessantly that everyone’s names or addresses were spelled correctly, that a label wasn’t straight, or — cue the scary background music! — ZOMGZ, maybe a hair had somehow slipped onto the packing tape while I was using it to close a package!! (This last nightmare scenario was what probably caused me the most grief, as the first two can usually be prevented with a little care. The hair, however, was not so easily avoided, as my office was flooded with hundreds of pounds of synthetic hair at any given time. I remember being so horrified by the appearance of a stray hair that I’d have to toss the packaging and start again!)
What I hadn’t yet learned at the time is that, regardless of what our inner voices tell us, perfection is not always the answer to everything. I didn’t realize that while I was doing my best Hyacinth Bucket impersonation, making sure that every stamp lined up exactly with every envelope corner, I was also wasting my valuable time and energy on something that only I gave a shit about.
My friend, Sabrina, also helped me realize that my package obsession was pretty lame; “I get so excited when something comes in the mail for me, I don’t even care! I just rip the package open because I’m so happy to get my cool new stuff!” she told me once, as I struggled to remove a stray synthetic hair that’d gotten stuck under a piece of tape on a customer’s package. Maybe I’m unusual in my own observational skillz, but once I got something that had the sender’s *own* hair stuck to the UPS packing slip thingy, and I was almost physically ill by just the sight of it.
After realizing that no one else cares nearly as much as I did, I lighted up a bit on some of the other details. Now I slap the stamp onto my envelope someplace in the upper-right quadrant and finish living the rest of my life without losing sleep over it. The mailman knows where to look for it, and he’s probably sleeping just fine also. I am still a stickler for spelling people’s names and addresses just as they indicate, even if it’s wrong, and find creative ways to avoid {or at least reduce} the amount of flyaway fake hair in my office. A person’s still got to have some standards, after all. :)

I am also wizened enough to now realize that the concept of “perfect” is a total pain in the ass, if it exists beyond our imaginations at all. Sure, sometimes striving for the absolute pinnacle of awesomeness is worth it. But do you REALLY need to spend that kind of time and energy on everything? If you do, you probably have OCD, and in that case, I applaud you; it’s hard living with that kind of stress. Also, may I extend an invitation for you to visit and clean my house?
A lot of times, having these expectations for oneself and others is extremely destructive and ridiculous. It wastes your time because you slave away trying to make everything super-awesome; it wastes your money, because (a) time is money, and (b) you’re likely using up valuable resources. It wastes energy because you’re stuck stressing endlessly about something when you could be doing something else — having fun, just chillin’, accomplishing something great — or anything else. Even having nothing to do is better than being in possession of that cold knot of “Oh shit, did I make a miniscule mistake that only I will notice?” at the pit of your stomach.
I’m not saying that there aren’t times when “Perfect” is important, such as when you’re performing brain surgery or dismantling a bomb. There are probably other circumstances too. But for the rest of the time, I think the focus can probably just stay on “Pretty Good.” Do you really think that your friends are going to check under your couch to see if it’s been vacuumed this week? If so, get some new friends, because the ones you have sound like total assholes!
Rather than stand immobilized in fear of failing to achieveperfect, let’s celebrate ourselves for accomplishing things that are pretty good.Perfect will keep you mired in self-doubt, dwelling on any perceived inferiorities. Pretty good enables you to forgive yourself (and others) while helping you move on to bigger and better things. Perfect is all about drama and bullshit for the sake of nothing. Pretty good is the stuff that makes up the rest of your life — messy, weird, and definitely not for the weak or self-delusional — but certainly more interesting than a bland, cookie-cutter existence.
Letting go of perfect will enable you to find joy and pleasure in even the most mundane things, instead of shitting your pants as you turn each corner. Letting go of perfect, and enjoying your life with all of its interesting flaws can be daunting, however. It's like crossing a bridge at night; it can be terrifying and tough to see the way, but all you really have to do is keep going until you reach the end, focusing on light spots along the way.
Although it is difficult to change a lifelong habit of perfectionism, it can be done. The journey is a long one, and it’s not always easy. But slowly, with some effort, even the tightest of asses can let go of his or her perfectionism paralysis, and venture into an awesome new world of non-perfection, and celebrate the greatness of pretty good. Try it and see!