I Heart Shit On a Stick

According to serveral articles I've been reading (here, here, and here), America's least favorite food is liver. I'll bet you didn't need a poll to know that, though.

I can still remember the first time I tried liver.  I was two or three, it was a fairly cloudy day, and I wore a dark blue long-sleeve shirt and possibly an eye patch.  My brother and I were eating our dinner in the living room, sitting on the floor in front of the TV, with our plates on the coffee table.  My mother gave us our dinner plates which contained liver sauteed with some onions, and green beans on the side.  When my brother tried it, he said, "Ew, the liver's yucky!  I'm not gonna eat it!" He ate all his beans, and drank all his milk out of his little blue Tupperware cup that everyone had in the 1970s (the red one was mine), but he left every bit of that liver on his plate -- including the piece he'd tried and spit back onto the plate.  I had a few green beans, contemplating my brother's statement of what had been set before us.  The only food that I didn't like was bananas, and since a piece of meat couldn't possibly taste like one, I wondered what the hell was so bad about it?  I'm glad I didn't cave to peer pressure -- it was delicious.  I can still remember the texture of the beautifully caramelized outer layer, which my mother had achieved by dredging it with flour before sauteeing it to a perfect degree of doneness... the soft-but-spongey texture as I chewed it... that pure, clean (?!) organ-y taste mingling with the onions and just a hint of butter.   I also remember that my poor brother was told to eat a few more bites of liver before he was given his dessert -- vanilla pudding, fresh off the stovetop.  I consumed the contents of my plate with relish, both mystified and full of pity for my brother, who just didn't seem to get how great the liver was.  Two decades later, liver remains one of my favorite foods.  (My own recipe isn't bad, but it's not even close to as good as my mom's.)


I can see why people don't like liver, though.  It has a strong taste.  Its purpose is to detoxify the body by breaking town toxins, hormones, and insulin; it is the storage center for many different types of vitamins and minerals, such as vitamin D, iron, and copper -- it's a very busy organ, so naturally it's going to be strong-tasting and sometimes a bit tough in texture.  I have microcytic anemia, and have struggled to maintain my iron levels for just about as long as I can remember; liver showed up at my house for dinner pretty frequently when I was younger.  More often, during times of the month when my energy was especially depleted (like a visit from Aunt Flo), my mom would get some thick bloody steaks; we'd fire them up and consume them with plenty of salt, pepper, and gusto.  Most of the time, these really did make me feel better.

It is for these reasons that I didn't even hesitate to try my first helping of beef heart many years ago -- I'm an adventurous eater, always itching to try something new. True, the idea of eating a heart can seem pretty gross to some people, but an open mind helps a lot. I'd eaten chicken and turkey hearts before, but always after they'd been boiled to death as a flavoring agent for stock or gravy. I had expected the red, bloody heart to taste a lot like liver, but in fact, it's nothing like liver! The heart does function as a major organ, but it's actually a muscle. Beef heart tastes a lot like really good steak, fibrous but surprisingly juicy, with a wonderfully satisfying texture that is substantial but not too tough. Preparing the heart can take some work -- there is often a layer of hard fat on top, and lots of leathery "silver skin" on the outside of the heart, as well as some connective tissue on the chambers underneath -- but once you get through with trimming those away, you are left with a delicious piece of meat with outstanding flavor and texture.

For years, on the rare occasions that Fuzzband would see hearts at the store, he'd snap them right up. Recently, he had the brilliant idea to just ask the meat guy at our local market. (I think it was at Stop & Shop, but it could have been Market Basket, for those of you in New England!) You don't need to go to a fancy food shop to find them. Just go to your meat department and ask the guy or gal in charge; they'll be happy to hook you up. Beef heart can occasionally be found among the usual offerings of steaks and roasts, but not all stores will order them unless they're getting them for a specific reason. The meat guy told Fuzzband that we didn't need to order the entire case, but any of the hearts that we didn't take would be offered in the store to other customers. Because of the low demand for beef heart, Fuzzband agreed to take the entire order. So we had about 12 pounds (8 tasty hearts) for me to enjoy.

The hearts were packaged by "Rumba Foods," and vacuum-sealed so there was plenty of time to enjoy them once they had arrived. My husband was curious about other organ meats that Rumba offered (since he also keeps a lookout for things like kidneys and oxtails), and was excited to find a recipe section featuring a yummy-looking idea for cooking the hearts when simple skillet cooking proved to be boring for me.

He couldn't remember the name of the dish, but he described it to me: It was pieces of heart, trimmed, chopped into pieces, and marinated in a spicy brine; then the meat is placed of skewers and grilled. The name, he said, was an unusual Spanish word. "It sounded like... some word I'd never heard... like... choochacheechachoo... or something like that."

The real name for this dish is Anticuchos, which is a Peruvian treat made of any type of meat (but most often beef heart) which has been marinated and skewered. You can find the original recipe for Anticuchos at the Rumba website, along with all kinds of other interesting ideas. (It sure would save money if I ordered some tripe and learned to make Mondongo at home! YUM!)  There's another recipe for it on Wikibooks, but it seems a little more hot-centric than spicy flavor-centric.

Because my own recipe is an Anticuchos variant, and while more or less true to the original, I call my version Choochacheechachoo after Fuzzband's made-up memory lapse word.  It's a whole lot of fun to say, too, especially if you whisper it really fast.  Choochacheechachoo!  Try it! :)

CHOOCHACHEECHACHOO

INGREDIENTS:

1-2 beef hearts (use 2 if they're small; you need about 2.5-3 pounds)

A handful of minced cilantro (about 1/4 cup -- see my notes at the end)

2T ketchup

3T cumin

2T dried garlic pieces (or 4-5 cloves of minced fresh garlic)

1 tsp black pepper

1/4-1/2 tsp hot sauce (I like Frank's; this is optional, and you can use more if you want more heat)

white vinegar (anywhere between 1/2 and 1 cup, depending on how much heart you have.)

EQUIPMENT:

sharp knife

cutting board or plates

one-gallon freezer bag

a grill

about a dozen or so skewers

After you've removed the hard fatty lumps, the connective guts, and the "silver skin" from the outside of the heart, you'll have a big yummy piece of meat to work with.  All of the fat is on the outside of the heart, and once it's gone, what remains is lean and delicious!  Slice the meat into strips; I can usually get between six and eight strips out of one heart.  I used two hearts for this batch, but once I had a 3-pounder that made over a dozen strips! 

Put the strips in your plastic bag.  Add the remaining ingredients.  Close the bag, making sure to get out as much air as possible, and massage the seasonings into the meat.  Put in the fridge and marinate a minimum of 12 hours.  (I have marinated my choochacheechachoo for as long as 2 days, but overnight is best IMHO.)  The vinegar will tenderize the meat; the garlic and cilantro will blend together and create a fantastic flavor.)

When you're ready to grill, put the meat strips on skewers.  Cook them on a hot grill for about 5 minutes (a couple of minutes per side) until they're cooked to your doneness preference.  Set aside for 10 minutes or so after grilling to let the meat rest.  Each piece of choochacheechachoo should contain around 2 ounces of meat, so this recipe should serve about 5 or 6 people if everyone has 2 or 3 pieces.  It's also a fun and satisfying party appetizer for a crowd, too!  Leftovers will last several days in the fridge, and are awesome hot or cold.  I don't even bother reheating them the next day; choochacheechachoo isn't greasy since all the fat has been trimmed!

My camera ran out of batteries before I got a good picture of the final product, but my next batch (below) didn't have nearly as much cilantro as the one that was prepared above.  It was still tasty, though I think cilantro and tons of garlic are necessary for the best flavor!

NOTES:  I like having the meat cut into strips rather than chunks; it's juicier that way, plus it feels so deliciously primal to yank the meat from the stick with my teeth!  If some of your strips are a little short, it's definitely OK to combine them for a more uniform portion size.  And if you hate cilantro, use fresh parsley in its place.  It's not exactly the same, but something green in the marinade will make for a tastier choochacheechachoo.