Spa Day at Home: Make Your Own Hair Conditioning Treatments

Any type of hair can benefit from a little TLC every now and again.  There are some great products available anywhere from specialty stores, to salons, to your local drugstore down the street.  For a truly customizable experience, you may also treat yourself to a little "spa day" in the comfort and privacy of your own home.  Making your own beauty treatments is fun and inexpensive; it's always satisfying to make concoctions for loveliness according to your own unique needs and specifications.

Here are just a few recipes for wonderful homemade hair conditioning masques.  Try a few, and enjoy the results!

Olive Oil & Egg Hair Masque:

This masque is a deep, intensive treatment for dry, damaged hair.  Some people swear by mayonnaise as a hair conditioner --this recipe gives you all the nourishing properties of this homespun beauty secret, without as much of the "ick" factor!  Take 1 egg yolk and beat it ferociously with a hand mixer or food processor.  Slowly drizzle in about a cup of light olive oil.  (Feel free to add a few drops of your favorite essential oil to this recipe, too!)  Once the last of the oil has been added and the mixture becomes creamy and thick, it's ready to use.  Slather your hair in this conditioning masque for about 20-30 minutes before shampooing as normal (you may need to shampoo twice).  

Nourishing Guacamole for Hair:

This one is easy, vegan, and works well for most hair types.  Take a very ripe avocado and mash it to bits with fork or blender.  Add the juice of half a lime, and you're ready to roll.  You can keep this on your hair anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour before shampooing.

Yummy Banana Hair Smoothie:

Another super-easy masque with only two ingredients!  Mash a banana with half a cup of yogurt (plain, "light," or even flavored), blend thoroughly, and apply to your hair for about 30 minutes.  Rinse and shampoo as usual.

Lemon Meringue Hair Treatment:

This one requires just a bit more effort, but it's impressive and fun, and will remind you of your favorite yummy dessert.  Beat 2 egg whites until they're extremely fluffy; if you need help "fluffing" the eggs, add a few dashes of cream of tartar, though either way, the treatment will be beneficial.  Once the desired consistency has been reached, fold in a big squirt of honey (maybe 1-2 teaspoons or so) and the juice of half a lemon.  Saturate your hair with this mixture for 15-30 minutes, and wash as usual.  Make sure you don't rinse this out with water that's too warm; you don't want to cook the egg!

For best results with these treatments, use a shower cap in conjunction with these treatments.  Use a hair treatment once each week for optimal results.  Be sure to refrigerate any unused masque.  The olive oil & egg "mayo" masque should last in the fridge for a couple of weeks, but the others should be used as soon as possible.

Photo credits:  Avocado pic by the awesome ingserban, banana smoothie fixin's picture by the creative & talented quinn.anya, and the yummy meringue photo was done by the amazing Sunset Sailor!  Thanks for sharing on Flickr, my friends! :)

Dealing With A-Holes

I first got this funny story in one of those forwarded e-mails circa 1995.  I remember laughing hysterically at it in the computer lab.  Someone recently forwarded it to me once again... almost 15 years later... and it still makes me giggle each time.  I hope you all enjoy it!

Dealing with A-holes
 

This is for all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.

After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "asshole," and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and then I'd yell, "You're an asshole!" It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the asshole.

Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863. 

Then, one day this old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.

Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. 

All of a sudden this black Camaro came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulled into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's an asshole; there sure are a lot of assholes in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're an asshole!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.

After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."

I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."

I said, "What's your name?"

"My name is Don Hansen."

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home in the evenings."

"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"Don, you're an asshole!" And I slammed the phone down.

After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two assholes to call. Then after several months of calling the assholes and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution.

First, I had my phone dial Asshole #1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello." I yelled "You're an asshole!", but I didn't hang up.

The asshole said, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah."

He said, "Stop calling me."

I said, "No."

He said, "What's your name, Pal?"

I said, "Don Hansen."

He said "Where do you live?"

"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."

"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."

"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Asshole!" and I hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He answered, "Hello."

I said, "Hello, Asshole!"

He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?"

"I'll kick your butt." 

"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Asshole!"

And I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down West 34th Street.

After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious! If you want to watch two Assholes kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter, ...

I taped it all off the evening news. lol


~Anonymous~

Photo credits:  Thanks to Justin Brockie for the cool pic of the vintage 1990s phone, Michi1308 for the great shot of the Camaro, and JessieJacobson for the awesome pic of the cop swarm!

Things We Love: Febreze ScentStories!

I have to admit that I'm completely obsessed with Febreze Scentstories. For those of you who don't know, or have never tried it, this machine is a brilliant way to dispense lovely scents in your home without using candles, sprays, or other items.

I've always been into aromatherapy -- candles and incense are huge addictions of mine. When I first started seeing commercials for the Scentstories machine in 2004, I thought it seemed interesting at best. The concept seems simple enough: Just insert the scent discs into the machine and press Play; every 20 minutes, the disc will change to a new fragrance. I've tried all of the Scentstories discs, and have bought all of them at least twice -- with the exception of the limited-edition "Breezes on a Clothesline" variety; this rare disc only comes with a special-edition Christmas Scentstories machine. But yes, I bought a new machine JUST to try it. It wasn't bad, just a little bit fabric softener-y. (Would I buy another machine to try it again? Sheepishly I admit, that yes, I would... if I happened to need a new machine!)

My first Scentstories machine, which was the very first incarnation of the product, lasted about a year before I needed to replace it. The mechanism worked just fine, but over time the motor began to struggle, and it was a VERY loud, annoying sound. I'd sit on the phone with a friend, and no sooner would I press "PLAY" than my conversation partner would ask, "Exactly WHAT are you doing right now?" (Yeah, it was that loud!) Newer machines are much more lightweight than the older versions. The color scheme, which was dusty blues over dark greys (much more my taste), are now a lighter blue and pearly white. The cord is less unwieldy, the plug seems lighter, and the machines run much more quietly. My second one also lasted longer. (In fact, it's still quite functional; I thought it didn't play the discs as well, but I'm now wondering if perhaps I was overusing the discs.)

Since I had to buy a machine just to play the "limited edition" disc, I decided to replace my second Scentstories machine recently. My problem is, now I'm having trouble finding the discs! I used to find them at places like CVS and Target (... a certain privately-owned drugstore in NYC even yielded 5 "Celebrate the Holidays" discs), but over the past year or so... nothing. Absolutely no discs are anywhere to be found! If you love the vanilla discs or "Wandering Barefoot on the Shore," you can probably find them on eBay for somewhere around $10-$15 a pop (including shipping). If you're really lucking, you may run into my favorite discs: "Relaxing in a Hammock," "Strolling Through the Garden," or the original and completelyt wonderful "Exploring a Mountain Trail." And on a super-duper good day, you may even find the rares: a disc of tropical scents (not bad), a Shania Twain "springtime" disc (can't remember how that was), the holiday disc (my least favorite), or... maybe even that limited-edition yet highly-coveted "Breezes on a Clothesline." But you'll be probably be paying through the nose and up the ass for them. I've been worried for the fate of this awesome concept... I use my Scentstories machine every night, enjoying the comforting whir and light scent of whatever's playing. Even though my discs have worn thin, I've got a small stash of new ones that I'm saving for a rainy day. So the idea that Scentstories is on the way out, well, that's been worrying me.

A search for Scentstories products on Google was most helpful, though: It appears as though the Yankee Candle Company has leased the Scentstories technology and is producing discs for the machines again -- with Yankee Candle scents -- and now there's more to choose from than ever!! I am unfamiliar with Yankee Candle scents, but with disc themes like "Autumn Celebration," Fresh Breeze," "Merry Christmas," and "Farmer's Market," I'm sure that even the most die-hard Scentstories fans will find something good to enjoy. The prices are a little higher -- Yankee charges $7.50 per disc, as opposed to ScentStories $5-$6 a pop. But since the original discs are going sky-high on eBay now, and that's pretty much the only place you can find 'em, the Yankee discs are looking better and better.

Review: A Period Piece on the "MyDays" App

I don't usually rave about apps, but this one is so well made and so useful that I really wanted to share it with every female Android phone user!

A few months ago, I acquired a new phone, in accordance with my T-Mobile contract.  Usually the thrill of a new phone is enough to keep me glowing for a few weeks.  I've had my Android phone for nearly four months now, and I am still finding thing that excite me all over again.  One of those exciting things is an application that I downloaded early on in my "cell phone honeymoon" days.  The application is called "MyDays," a female cycle calendar.  I'm not usually one for profligate downloading of freebies, but download it I did, and it was so useful that even the trial version has earned itself a coveted spot on my home screen.

MyDays is more than just a mere calendar; it can actually track and predict a woman's menstrual cycle and ovulation dates, as well as inform the user of her most fertile times.  The user can even notate and label days that correspond with specific conception (or contraception) practices, such as taking the pill, engaging in sex, or taking her basal metabolic temperature (BMT).  There are also functions that allow note-taking, which I've found invaluable for keeping track of my gynecological visits as well as any special circumstances, such as breakthrough bleeding or excessively bad PMS symptoms.  The one function that I haven't yet used is the "Chat & Talk" selection, which will enable you to get into touch with support, as well as chat with the other MyDays users to discuss whatever's on your mind. 

As a woman with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS/PCOD) and metabolic syndrome, my lady business often comes late, which is not very ladylike at all.  I've often been mystified at how surprised medical personnel have been upon asking me about "what day in [my] cycle" I was currently experiencing.  Having had irregular periods for the last 22 years, I had never realized that most women can answer such a question right off the bat -- for me, the best answers I've ever been able to muster have been "bleeding" or "not bleeding;" answers which, somehow, don't tend to impress those in the medical profession.  I've always wondered... How do other women just seem to KNOW this stuff?  I'd always felt a little weird and out of sync with the rest of womankind; considering how erratic my cycle has been, I suppose I have been out of sync in more ways than one.  However, thanks to MyDays, I was able to go to my new gynecologist (on January 26th, according to my "notes!"), whip out the ol' cellie, and promptly inform Dr. Julio that my last period started on December 15th and ended on December 21st, yet I had experienced three instances of spotting in January.  Having these answers at my fingertips not only gave me more confidence upon answering medical questions, but also empowered me.  I felt as though I was really doing something good for myself by taking my reproductive health seriously.

This application gets a glowing A+ recommendation from me.  I would recommend the MyDays app to anyone who with an Android phone and a uterus!  It would probably also come in handy for my husband, so he knows when to stock up on chocolate and ibuprofen, but that's a whole 'nother blog entry.

January Decluttering Report

A Hap-hap-happy Groundhogs' Day to all, and a Blessed Candlemas as well!  Goodness, it's cold out there.  Let's hope that our little friend Punxsutawney Phil will see his shadow today.  I usually love winter, but all of the odd weather that we've been having lately is getting a bit old -- I never know if I need to wear a heavy cape outside, or just my trusty black Dickies hoodie.  Mother Nature had better make up her mind, already. :)



In the spirit of getting my shit together vis-a-vis all of the clutter in my house, I have decided that it'd be a great idea to keep track of the stuff I've been doing to declutter by way of my donations and selling old shit on half.com & eBay.  Thus, I present to you my new feature: the monthly decluttering report!


JANUARY'S PROGRESS:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
boxes donated: 4 (1 large, 2 medium, 1 smallish)
cause(s) helped: Big Brothers & Sisters of America
type of donation(s): clothes, kitchen wares, toys, books, health & beauty items

Items sold: 3 via Half.com
sold items: books (3)
profit*:  $15.15




NEXT PICKUP DATE:  TBA (probably last week of February, will be scheduling it this week)

YTD PROGRESS:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

boxes donated: 4 (1 large, 2 medium, 1 smallish)

causes helped: Big Brothers & Sisters of America

type of donation(s): clothes, kitchen wares, toys, books, health & beauty items

Items sold: 3 via Half.com

sold items: books (3)

profit*:  $15.15

*I suppose that, technically, this isn't my "profit" since I probably paid more than $15.15 for the items in question -- but since I wouldn't have made anything back if I didn't decide to relinquish these items, I'm'a count it as a profit.  So there. ;)

Also, big thanks to Flickr's qmnonic for his fantastic groundhog picture, which fit into today's entry so perfectly!  (Well-timed nature shots like this don't happen every day, lemme tell ya!)  This is actually Punxsutawney Phil's Canadian cousin, I think, but he's got that whole "peeking out of the hole to check on his shadow" thing mastered to a tee! :)