Review: Revlon Velet Touch Lipstick (Discontinued)

I apologize for not posting much lately.  My doctor has put me on a bizarre new eating regimen, so I haven't really been able to actually, y'know, cook food. So I haven't tried any awesome new recipes lately.

And now for the good news.  Earlier this year (in January, to be exact), a moratorium on buying stuff was put into effect.  Absolutely nothing was supposed to come into this house that wasn't absolutely essential.  But, now that the moratorium has lifted, I've decided to put all of this extra money that comes with not eating awesome food to good use:  by buying a bunch of crap that I've been dying to have.

Lately, I have been on a vintage lipstick kick.  Something in my brain has just been pushing me to long for the scents, the feels, and the colors of my youth.  It is in this spirit that I present a review of a vintage product which I've recently acquired through the magic of eBay: Revlon Velvet Touch lipstick!

Now when I was a mere slip of a girl in perhaps 8th or 9th grade, this shit was all the rage.  The commercial was so elegant, grown-up, and sophisticated... the one that I was remembering seemed to harken back to old-fashioned Hollywood glamour.  Unfortunately, all I could find on YouTube was the Cindy Crawford version which came out later.  I like the original better, though admittedly this slice of 1990s nostalgia makes wearing Velvet Touch lipstick look like a party in a tube!



The lipstick names all had sexy, sensuous, velvety sounding names.  With a lifelong fetish for velvet and a love of vintagey glamour, how could a youth like me resist that seductively colorful eye-popping display at the local smalltown Hills department store?  At the time, I was going through a zany "orange makeup" phase (blame it on my love of Halloween!), though the shade that I settled on was called "Cherry Crush," -- a deep blue-toned crimson which was perfect for that bloodred look that I craved.  Oh, how I loved it.  I bought others, too, later... which included a metallic coral shade that just barely fit in with my orange repertoire.

The feel of this lipstick was unlike anything I had previously experienced.  It truly did have a soft, velvety, long-wearing consistency with a slightly powdery feel and a highly pigmented finish.  The smell of this formula was distinctive, too.  I can't describe it -- it's a subtle powdery/perfumey/chemical scent that stuck in my mind for two decades after Velvet Touch had come and gone.  The color and staying power had earned Cherry Crush a place in the "active" section of my teenage lipstick collection (which was an impressive 3-digit array of all sorts of delectable shades!).

Recently, I was siezed with a longing to possess more Velvet Touch so that my lips could relive the experience.  I checked eBay, and to my surprise, there were some 20-year old tubes available for sale!  However, they were fairly expensive (at about $20 each).  I was able to find a smaller version for $7.95.  It's somewhere between a sample and full size.

The color is called Plum Velour.  Online, it seemed to much deeper and darker than it was in person.  In actuality, it's more of a magenta color.  In fact, when I opened the tube, the first thing I noticed was that it was the same color as my hair!  (Here's one with my hair so that you can see what I mean.)  And that smell!  It was exactly the same as it was back in the day -- miraculously, the lipstick hadn't gone bad or anything!  I was ecstatic that even 20 years later, the product is still so wearable!  Although this is touted as a "creme," the color does have a very slight shimmery finish.  It isn't glossy or sparkly per se, just has a nice bit of shimmer to the color, so that it still looks 90% matte with a 10% shine factor that seems to add a little more texture and velvet-y-ness to the product.  It is a fairly long-wearing formula, though I didn't attempt "6 velvety hours" in it just yet!  All in all, I have to give this product a good strong "A" for its awesomeness.

Can anyone recommend a style of lipstick that has a similar consistency or texture so that we can have a "dupe" of these classic colors?  Have a favorite vintage lipstick that you'd like me to find and review?  Comment below and maybe we can help each other!

Emergency Guacamole!

It only has 2 ingredients, and it looks pretty disgusting when it's done, but it scratches the guac itch!!

First, you need a ripe avocado and a bottle of Cholula chili-lime hot sauce. (OMG. I love it -- I could *drink* this stuff!!)

Mash the living hell out of the avocado and add as much sauce as you can stand!

When it's done, might look kinda brown. (If you care, add some cilantro, green onion, even parsley or tomatillos to even out the color.)

Close enough! :)

Making Cook and Serve Pudding in the Microwave

Yes, it can be done! My results may not be your results, though.

First, I whisked my milk and "cook & serve" pudding together. Then I placed it in a tall plastic container... It's important for your container to be tall! Otherwise, the pudding is going to overflow and it'll be all over the microwave.

My microwave is one of those spinny rotating ones.  I put the mixture in for 2 minutes on the microwave's normal setting, then brought it back out and whisked it really good. By this time it was very well blended, and had bubbled while cooking, but still remained very thin.

When I placed it back into the microwave this time, I did it for 3 minutes. After half the time, the pudding had risen to the top of the container, so I took it out and whisked away the lumps. This is a picture of what it looked like right after -- seems to work just fine! After it cools, I'm using it to make fruit dip for a party I'm attending tonight.

My advice is to watch that sucker, and whisk it good between nukes. Give it a try and let me know how it goes. :)

Breakfast Polenta Recipe

I freaking LOVE to eat polenta!  Usually, I eat it as it's in its mushy state... Instead of a heap of pasta or mashed potatoes, I'll opt for polenta to be the bottom against my sauce's meaty top. Heh heh.

Last week, I had a vegan dinner party and decided to use polenta as a crust for my cottage pie.  (It was yummy and I was lazy!).  I was left with about 2 cups of yummy corny awesomeness to use later.

The first thing that I did was to unmold it and consider my options.

Then I sliced it into pieces, added a little olive oil to a hot pan, and got to work! I think it was about 5 minutes before I needed to flip.

They started looking better!

Not all flipping was successful.

It really started to get awesome after a few minutes on the other side.  A cast-iron skillet is the way to go.

After a tiny sprinkling of salt, I was ready to eat! This was a very filling, happy, and satisfying breakfast that I can't wait to make again sometime.

 (Oops: here's the recipe! Take 2 cups of polenta {1/2 cup of cornmeal stirred into 2ish cups of boiling water; add seasonings of your choice}, pour it in a container & allow to chill overnight or longer, unmold, cut into strips, and cook with about a teaspoon or two of olive oil, high heat, about 5 minutes per side. You can flip again to lock in the polenta-y goodness, but that's optional. Dash with salt, serve, and eat!)

Let's Make a Face-Washing Mitt!

I usually just splash cold water on my face and wipe with a napkin or something. (I do exfoliate in the shower, though.) Lately, I'm feeling the need to mix up my face care repertoire!

Today, I made this cleansing mitt out of a baby wash cloth and a length of ribbon.

It would have been better if I had 2 wash cloths, but I used what I had. This is designed to fit over the hand in order to get an easy, gentle cleanse.

This is all you need! If you're hand-sewing like I did, you'll require a needle and thread. My washcloth was a tiny bit bigger than my hand; I wound up using about a foot and a half (give or take) of ribbon.

And what adorable ribbon it is! This neon yellow poly ribbon came from Michael's, Gotta love those Halloween scores that work all year 'round! :)

After I eyeballed my ribbon and snipped the ends (always on the bias to help defray fraying!), I folded my washcloth into a triangular hand approximation and aligned my ribbon along the seam. This mitt-length ribbon helps to strengthen the seam, but its real purpose is so that I can hang the mitt to dry when I'm finished.

Overcast stitches along the edge will do nicely.  They needn't win any beauty contests to be effective.  Just make sure that your washcloth edges both get poked with the needle, or else you're gonna have holes!

This took me less than 15 minutes, and was super fun to make! I love easy & functional crafties. Any ideas what to make next? Post 'em here! :)

What Does Jicama Taste Like?

Our latest victims!

I've been hearing about jicama for years, but I've never known where to buy one or how to make it.  I have heard comparisons of jicama to other veggies and fruits like turnips, potatoes, apples, squash, and even water chestnuts.

Seeing that Chez Sage has been experimenting with vegan food (and restrictive vegan which is free of gluten and soy!), previously unexplored options are now on the table.  So when I asked Fuzz if he'd grab a jicama from his sojourn to the evil empire (Whole Foods, who still isn't treating their employees very nicely), his response was predictable: "WTF's a jicama, and how do you spell that?"

I explained what a jicama is -- known as a "Mexican turnip" or a "yam bean," it's a root veggie that is found in Mexico originally and is now also cultivated in parts of Asia.  It can be eaten raw or cooked, and many people compare the flavor and texture to raw beans, apples, and pears.

When I first thought of try a jicama in our quest for "grab-ables," all I knew was that jicama was crunchy and looked a little like a celery root (which made me wonder if it was related to celery -- I don't think it is).  Fuzz came back from the store with two jicamas (jicamae?) which he'd said cost about $1.99 a pound.  Not bad!  The next day, I went into the kitchen to peel and chop them.

What a pain in the ass to peel these jokers are.  NO LIE, they're going to make you swear mightily if you're not used to peeling them.  I used a standard veggie peeler, but then when I got to the onion-dome-shaped ends, I got lazy and hacked them off.  They looked pretty sad and gross without their skin, but I persevered.

Left: Big peeled jicama blob. Right: Tasty crunchy chunks.

After halving them, I decided to slice them into chunks and strips.  They look much prettier once they have been chopped, that's for sure.  Turns out that the jicama is pretty tasty raw.  It does have just a hint of sweetness to it, kind of like an apple or pear.  But it's not really that fruity, just a tiny bit of refreshing sweetness.  Jicama is crunchy, and a bit starchy like if a raw potato and a pear had some kind of illicit love-child.  I've heard that jicama is often eaten with salt, lime, and chili.  I can also see putting it in salads or dipping it in hummus or salsa.  There was one webpage that suggested chopping it into pieces and putting it on a fruit or veggie tray because it doesn't brown the way that apples do -- and I'll try that for sure next time I have a party.

Febreze For People

The downside to having an awesome Body & Soul party was that I seem to have contracted some form of plague from one of our party guests.  I guess that the fun of that wonderful cooking and being psychic came with a price!

Anyway, this morning I'm off to our local clinic to get myself tested.  I've got a VIP houseguest in a few days, and I don't want to pass along the plague!

Sometimes, when you get sick and you're taking antibiotics OR you're reluctant to hop into the shower first thing in the morning because you worry about going outside with a wet head, you may want to hold off showering until later in the day.  Or, maybe you have some emergency errands that needs to be done PFQ.  Perhaps you've just finished a yoga class, but forgot about that important meeting which starts in (uh oh!) just 15 minutes!  Mayhaps you've woken up to no power or hot water (holy crap-oly!!)... Whatever the situation, there may just come a day where you're in need of some alternative solutions.  Don't worry, I'm way ahead of you.  It is in this spirit that I bring you my recipe for "Febreze for People."


INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup of your favorite lotion, preferably clean-smelling! Think citrus and/or minty!
2 tablespoons of denatured alcohol (rubbing alcohol or hand sanitizer works fine)
3/8 cup of water
OPTIONAL: 1-2 drops of citrusy, tea tree, or mint essential oil

Mix everything together, except for the water.  Pour into an 8-oz(ish) spray bottle, top off with the water, and shake well.  Whenever you don't have time for a shower or bath, use this solution as a quick refresher.  Just spray it onto your body, wipe with any soft cloth, and rub in the excess.

Depending on the lotion, you can use it on your face (don't get in eyes) as an emergency makeup remover.  Don't use in your hair or it'll get way greasy -- if your hair feels icky, just use a bit of baby powder to freshen it before your important event.

Food For Thought

If you know me, then you probably know that I'm a sucker for a good cause.  I have been donating stuff, making calls, writing letters, babysitting people's kids or pets, scrubbing floors, baking, cooking, taking phone calls, mailing packages, stuffing envelopes, making or accepting donations, comforting people or animals, knocking on doors, moving shit, picking up trash, and generally being what some people refer to as a "do-gooder" for over two decades now.  I even did volunteer work for a Free-Net in the 1990s!  (Do those things even exist anymore?)  Truth be told, I'm not really sure where I came upon this habit.  It's just kind of the way things have always been.

You may also know that I love to cook.  Back when I was more mobile than I am now, I was the kind of person who'd throw elaborate dinner parties, with multi-course meals featuring an insane amount of choices for my guests.  Or I'd just cook for my husband, who often disliked exotic or unusual foods; he also isn't a fan of leftovers, so much of the time, the stuff I'd make would eventually depart this world via the garbage disposal, as opposed to the toilet, as a good meal should.

I view cooking as an art form; an extremely temporary and short-term way to get the gratification of making something, without the hassle of storing it forever or figuring out how to put it to good use.  You cook the food, you (or the people you love) eat the food, you toss the leftovers.  And if there were actually people to cook for -- oh, happy day, like when my husband's workplace used to have their holiday parties -- I would bake cheesecake for days, thrilled to impart some of my happy vibes into the dessert assignment!  (I miss those times!)  But, how sad it is to cook food that might not get eaten.  So for the longest time, I have wanted to help out at a shelter or a food pantry.

Upon finally learning of a shelter that accepted donations of cooked food -- something which hadn't really occurred to me until then -- I decided to roll up my sleeves and make something good.  I did an enchilada casserole, which was basically ground turkey in beans and rice, with some cheese and spices.  It wasn't a lot of food -- only one little tray, which might have feed half a dozen hungry folks -- but I was still proud to make something good for someone.  It was such fun that this month, I decided to have a cooking party to prepare something good for the shelter.  And yesterday, that's just what we did!

I am still battling with phone issues, so I didn't get any pictures.  But I will say that we had an absolute blast.  And so many friends helped out -- one of them went out of her way to do our shopping and kicked in 20% of the food bill!  Another friend helped to straighten up the house in a hurry, played chauffeur to a partygoer in need of a ride, donated some surplus canned food, and ran a bunch of errands.  We even had a friend drive from 40 minutes away to help me peel apples, chop celery, and dice onions.  And of course, there was my man with his mighty chili-stirring arm.  Between all of us, we were able to produce 6 trays of food -- that's 3 apple-raisin noodle kugels and 3 turkey-chili tamale pies -- for the Lowell Transitional Living Center.  I didn't get to come along for the food delivery since I was hosting, but I was told that the chili received an especially enthusiastic welcome.

Things went so well that we've decided to do it all over again next month.  I haven't decided yet what we're going to make.  I'd also love to have some more volunteers and/or food donations.  I paid for almost everything myself.

One thing I would suggest to readers, though: If you want to volunteer to do something, don't think "there's nothing I can do."  I have to take it slow even on my best days, and then there are days when I hurt so bad that I can't even get out of bed -- in fact, I tend to stay inside almost all of the time because of my health issues.  But I didn't let that stop me from helping; I brought the playing field onto my turf instead, and made my own volunteer event.  Anyone can do it, really.  And if you're feeling particularly down about your own life, isn't it nice to stop worrying about your own problems for awhile & do something to help people who are even more screwed than you are? 

I can't cook the way I used to, but I was certainly able to get onto Facebook, invite my friends to come for a volunteer party, and then put their asses to work! :)  The point I'm trying to make is that you CAN do something.  And even if you don't think the stuff you can do is worth very much, there really are people out there who can benefit from it.  You just have to know where to look.  Trust me!

P.S.  I used a variation of a Wendy's chili clone in my tamale pie.  All I did after that was make the crust (boil 4 cups water, add 1 cup cornmeal & spices if you like, then stir until thickened), pour the crust in the tray, top with chili, & add the cheese.  It was a very easy recipe for a crowd!

Love, Peace, & Chicken Legs

I'm not exactly sure how or why, but I recently came across this blog entry from Dine & Dish about baked chicken legs.  Somehow, the author has become obsessed with them to the point where she wants to eat them every day!

I showed Fuzz this article, and he was like "WTF is so special about baked chicken legs?"  And it's true; the ingredients are pretty simple -- just salt and pepper, a soupçon of olive oil, and the legs.  You basically pop them in the oven, and Bob's your uncle, baked chicken legs!  The commenters seemed to be singing the praises of these simple leggies to high heaven.  They were so fanatical about the glory and wonderousness that is baked chicken legs, that I had to try it and figure out what the deal was.  We made a half-batch for dinner soon afterward.

Well, I must say, dinner was rather unimpressive that night.  "Um, yeah, it's just chicken," Fuzz said, picking at his legs.  I wasn't quite as snobby about it as he was, and enjoyed it for what it was -- just some simple chicken, salt and pepper, a tiny bit of Frank's, no big whoop.  We packed up the excess legs, and within a day or two, I was requesting some of the leftovers for lunch and/or dinner.  Much to Fuzz's surprise, I enjoyed the hell outta those leftovers!

For the record, I don't consider these baked chicken legs to be quite as orgasmic as the enthusiastic commenters in each blog.  However, these sure were easy.  And the leftovers were just what a mobility-challenged gal like me needs on a high-pain-score day: plentiful, great without heating, and highly "grabbable."  What's more, a medium-sized chicken leg, sans frying or crazy sauces and condiments, is approximately about 70 calories or so (80-something if you absolutely have to eat the chicken skin).  So, even though I wouldn't call them God's gift to chicken legs, I would absolutely say that they're very tasty in their own right, convenient, and quite healthy too.  I'll be experimenting with some more seasoning techniques in the future, and will let you know how it goes!

P.S.  Apologies for the lame-ass clip art -- it was either clip art or nothing, and I didn't want to break my own anti-perfection rule!  Turns out that my Motorola Cliq has officially bitten the dust!  Fortunately, my replacement phone has been ordered, and should be arriving any day now.  So I'll be going back to some more regular posting in the near future, I'm sure. :)

First Pumpkin of the Season!

Well, I am proud to announce that this week, I was able to get myself to Agway with some friends and purchase the lovely pumpkin below.  (No, it wasn't pre-cut; I did that yesterday.)  It came without a stem, but I like it anyway!

I was thinking about doing a jack o' lantern featuring my business name, but decided to do a PGS jack o'lantern this week instead, just for a bit of practice.  I actually think it turned out fairly well.  The only tools I used were my pen, my knife, & pumpkin scraper.  The letters were freehand -- the little loopy part of the "P" in "Pretty" fell off while I was cutting it.  I have another picture where I stuck it back on with a piece of skewers left over from summer's choochacheechachoo, but I was too lazy to put it up. ;) I wound up having a ton of little pieces of leftover pumpkin from the letters, so I'll be putting those in my crockpot today.

Anyway, here's the first of many of the 2011 season.  I'm already trying to decide what to do with my next one!

Mmmm, smell those fresh pumpkin guts! :)

Lazy Woman Casserole

I probably shouldn't call it "Lazy Woman" Casserole, but what the heck?  I've made it on days when I've been super-busy, AND on days when I've been just feeling kinda lazy and not terribly keen on making a gourmet masterpiece.  I have degenerative disc disease, so sometimes all I can really manage is standing for about 5 minutes before my pesky ole' L4/L5 region gets the best of me.

When I look at the pictures of this thing, I have to tell you that it doesn't look all that appetizing.  And as one Amazon user put it, "Sometines you just want one of the original 'fast foods' that your mother/grandmother heated up," this isn't necessarily something healthy enough to make all the time.  That said -- it's quick, it's easy, and most of the non-staple ingredients can be stored in the freezer or pantry forever until you're finally ready to put it together.  (Well, frozen veggies are a staple in MY house, anyway!)  The veggies give it the illusion of a balanced meal, but you can always add more to the batch, and serve with a salad, if you want to give it an even healthier kick.


LAZY WOMAN CASSEROLE:

Ingredients:
2 4.9-oz boxes of Betty Crocker au gratin potatoes (or generic equivalent)
4 cups of hot and/or boiling water
1 cup of milk
1 bag of frozen veg (I like "California Mix" which is a blend of broccoli/carrots/cauli; but use your fave!)
1 8-oz bag of shredded cheddar cheese.
between 2-4 tablespoons of butter or margarine (package calls for it, but totally optional!)

1.  Preheat your oven to 350 and spray your casserole dish with cooking spray.  Some people like to defrost their veg in the microwave around this time (like me -- I enjoy my broccoli in the softest capacity possible) but if you want a bit more "bite" to those vegetables, don't bother.  The broccoli WILL get super-duper soft if it is thawed first, and this isn't a texture that everyone on Earth enjoys!

2.  Dump the hot water into the casserole dish along with the potato packets & special sauce packets that come with the potato mixes.  Stir 'em up, then add your milk and veggies.

3.  At this point, if you wish to incorporate a handful or two of cheese directly into the potatoes, feel free to do so.  Otherwise, just dot the top with your butter/margarine if you're using it -- I cut mine into little bits and stick 'em around the edges to keep things adequately lubed during cook time.  (If not, I would recommend spraying the top with a tiny bit of cooking spray just in case.)  Then pop this sucker into the oven *uncovered* and let it cook for about 30-40 minutes.

4.  After this time has elapsed, open your oven and dump (remaining?) cheese over the whole thing.  You can sprinkle a little paprika onto the casserole as well, if you want to fool people with a majorly sexy "oven-browned" texture.  Mua, ha, haaah!  Leave it in the oven for another 10-15 minutes to let the cheese melt.

5.  When the timer sounds, take these out of the oven and let them sit for at least 15-20 minutes.  Trust me, this is HOT and will burn the heck out of your mouth and throat if you dig right in!  If you can wait even a bit longer, that'd be even better.

 6.  Refrigerate any unused portions, and believe me, this makes quite a bit, so there will definitely be lots of yummy leftovers.  These are even better the next day!

It's Pumpkininny!

I roasted my final Fall '10 pumpkin this week.  Actually, I had 2 left, but one of them was totally rotten in the middle.  It was majorly nasty and oozy and black -- I should've thought to take a picture of it! One thing I *wanted* to do was save some of the orange hopefully-non-botulism-infested seeds to toast in the oven, as many frugalistas might try to salvage something that seems unsalvagable to people with a higher degree of sanity, but Fuzzband refused to allow any part of the offending item to remain in the house.  Amid my cries of "it's still good, it's still good!" he unceremoniously dumped the black mess into the trashcan and glowered whenever I dared approach!

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to see that after over 2 months, the other pumpkin that I got at the end of October was still fresh and in great eating condition (it was beginning to get just a teensy bit dry and stringy on the inside, but even my spouse could see that it was, indeed, "still good" for realz).  I roasted it to perfection, soft and sweet and slightly charred around the edges.  To celebrate, I decided *not* to bake a pumpkin pie, but instead of half-assedly throw together a tribute dessert that was much easier, lighter, and still evocative of my prime pumpkin days -- pumpkin pudding -- just one bite will have you dancin' around like Josh Fenderman!







PUMPKIN PUDDING

INGREDIENTS:
1 "small" package of instant pudding mix (vanilla will do nicely)
1 1/2 cups of milk
1 cup of cooked pumpkin, squash, or other orange-hued gourd, fresh, frozen or canned
1/2 to 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
2-3 pinches of nutmeg
1-2 pinches of cloves

Empty the pumpkin into a large bowl (and puree the living snot out of it with a hand mixer if you aren't using canned pumpkin). Add the milk slowly and continue mixing until about half the milk has been added.  Add pudding and spices, continuing to stir.  Then, slowly add the rest of the milk.

VARIATIONS AND NOTES (for those who are curious):  You could substitute butterscotch pudding for the vanilla, though I haven't tried that yet -- I'll also bet you can get awesome results subbing your favorite vegan mix and adding the pumpkin & spices to the final product.  Usually I make this with sugar free pudding mix and 1% milk; the "lighter" milks will make this come out a bit on the thin side, but it's still a very good substitute for pumpkin pie if you're feeling lazy. :)  I made a full-sugar version for a friend and poured it into a ready-made graham cracker crust... it made a pretty pie, though it was a bit softer than I'd've liked.  The lighter version with sugar-free pudding and 1% was served in a bowl without pie crust, and tasted pretty darn good by itself.  WARNING:  Don't use sweet potato in this; when it's whipped, it makes the pudding gluey and weirdly dense.  (Unless you like that sort of thing, of course.)

Creative Commons Attribution

Well, it's a new year.  With 2011 comes an important decision. ;)  Actually I just thought to add some licensing information to my stuff.  I'd suggest this for anyone who blogs or creates things, and not just online either.

(Image courtesy of Flickr's "jorgeandresem")

You can visit CreativeCommons.org for more information on the Creative Commons licensing information.  The Creative Commons website is an extremely valuable resource for any creative person who needs help figuring out which licensing best fits each project.  The site explains the difference between each license in a way that's detailed, yet easy to understand.  If you get stuck, try their awesome licensing wizard to help determine what kind of license you need, as well as  how to present it on your website.

This work by PrettyGoodShit.Com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.

Copyscape.com is also a great resource for people who want a quick-and-dirty "don't steal my shit" badge for their intellectual properties, to warn others against plagiarism.  Users can add an HTML notice to their content, as well as use Copyscape's service to scan the internet in order to find content which is being used without permission.


Remember to protect your content!  Also, if you need to reproduce someone else's work, be sure to ask permission or follow the direction of their licensing information.  A little respect for one another's original content will help our users get a lot more out of these resources.

Holy Shit! More on a Stick!

 

Turkey is another yummy thing to cook on skewers.  By marinating strips of meat in a spicy marinade, you can turn mild-tasting turkey into a delicious flavor-packed meal that's healthy, convenient, and impressive.  These are delicious right off the grill, or even chilled the next day.  

TURKEY CHOOCHACHEECHACHOO FOR A CROWD OF SCREAMING FANS!

INGREDIENTS:

1 entire turkey breast

1 package of McCormick "Zesty Herb" marinade mix

2 teaspoons of curry powder
1 teaspoon of turmeric

1/2 cup white vinegar

1 teaspoon of dried garlic OR 4 cloves of fresh chopped garlic
Hot sauce to taste (I insist you use Frank's; a goodly amount, but not so much that people think they are eating buffalo choochacheechachoo [though now that I think about it, that sounds pretty good too]!)

EQUIPMENT:

skewers

knife

1 gallon plastic bag

First, take the skin off of your turkey breast.  Then cut all of the delicious boob meat off of your turkey, trying to keep each half as intact as you can.   (You can save the bones and all the meat sticking onto those hard-to-reach places for soup stock; just toss it in the crockpot with a bit of veggies and your choice of spices, add some water, and... Bob's your uncle!  Yummy stock/broth in about 3-4 hours!)

Slice the turkey breast meat into strips and place into the plastic bag.  Add all the other ingredients and marinate 8 hours or overnight.  When it's time to cook the turkey, place the strips onto sticks and grill for about 20 minutes on a low heat, or until the turkey is done.  Sometimes I finish these off with a light glaze of apricot preserves and curry powder so they'll look pretty on a plate, but if that's not your thing, this is especially tasty with Awesome Sauce.

Glove Love

I needed some gloves to protect the backs of my hands from the sun during a long car trip, so I came up with these super-duper easy gloves!  They're so easy that even the most elementary knitter (like me!) can make them.

The yarn I chose was Bernat Soft Bouclé acryllic/poly blend and number 10 needles.  It had a cool fuzzy texture that was a bit slow to work with at times, but overall it worked out fine.  I knitted a rectangle that fit my hand (it was 35 rows in length), then then sewed it up one side, leaving a small hole for my thumb near the top.  Then I braided some extra yarn into small strips, and sewed the strips between my fingers to make secure little sections for each finger.

It worked great, and I didn't get any sunburn on the way home!  Best of all, the yarn cost about $6 and I still have probably 80% of it, so this was also a very cost-effective project as well!  Next time I'll see if I can learn how to make fingers.

I Heart Shit On a Stick

According to serveral articles I've been reading (here, here, and here), America's least favorite food is liver. I'll bet you didn't need a poll to know that, though.

I can still remember the first time I tried liver.  I was two or three, it was a fairly cloudy day, and I wore a dark blue long-sleeve shirt and possibly an eye patch.  My brother and I were eating our dinner in the living room, sitting on the floor in front of the TV, with our plates on the coffee table.  My mother gave us our dinner plates which contained liver sauteed with some onions, and green beans on the side.  When my brother tried it, he said, "Ew, the liver's yucky!  I'm not gonna eat it!" He ate all his beans, and drank all his milk out of his little blue Tupperware cup that everyone had in the 1970s (the red one was mine), but he left every bit of that liver on his plate -- including the piece he'd tried and spit back onto the plate.  I had a few green beans, contemplating my brother's statement of what had been set before us.  The only food that I didn't like was bananas, and since a piece of meat couldn't possibly taste like one, I wondered what the hell was so bad about it?  I'm glad I didn't cave to peer pressure -- it was delicious.  I can still remember the texture of the beautifully caramelized outer layer, which my mother had achieved by dredging it with flour before sauteeing it to a perfect degree of doneness... the soft-but-spongey texture as I chewed it... that pure, clean (?!) organ-y taste mingling with the onions and just a hint of butter.   I also remember that my poor brother was told to eat a few more bites of liver before he was given his dessert -- vanilla pudding, fresh off the stovetop.  I consumed the contents of my plate with relish, both mystified and full of pity for my brother, who just didn't seem to get how great the liver was.  Two decades later, liver remains one of my favorite foods.  (My own recipe isn't bad, but it's not even close to as good as my mom's.)


I can see why people don't like liver, though.  It has a strong taste.  Its purpose is to detoxify the body by breaking town toxins, hormones, and insulin; it is the storage center for many different types of vitamins and minerals, such as vitamin D, iron, and copper -- it's a very busy organ, so naturally it's going to be strong-tasting and sometimes a bit tough in texture.  I have microcytic anemia, and have struggled to maintain my iron levels for just about as long as I can remember; liver showed up at my house for dinner pretty frequently when I was younger.  More often, during times of the month when my energy was especially depleted (like a visit from Aunt Flo), my mom would get some thick bloody steaks; we'd fire them up and consume them with plenty of salt, pepper, and gusto.  Most of the time, these really did make me feel better.

It is for these reasons that I didn't even hesitate to try my first helping of beef heart many years ago -- I'm an adventurous eater, always itching to try something new. True, the idea of eating a heart can seem pretty gross to some people, but an open mind helps a lot. I'd eaten chicken and turkey hearts before, but always after they'd been boiled to death as a flavoring agent for stock or gravy. I had expected the red, bloody heart to taste a lot like liver, but in fact, it's nothing like liver! The heart does function as a major organ, but it's actually a muscle. Beef heart tastes a lot like really good steak, fibrous but surprisingly juicy, with a wonderfully satisfying texture that is substantial but not too tough. Preparing the heart can take some work -- there is often a layer of hard fat on top, and lots of leathery "silver skin" on the outside of the heart, as well as some connective tissue on the chambers underneath -- but once you get through with trimming those away, you are left with a delicious piece of meat with outstanding flavor and texture.

For years, on the rare occasions that Fuzzband would see hearts at the store, he'd snap them right up. Recently, he had the brilliant idea to just ask the meat guy at our local market. (I think it was at Stop & Shop, but it could have been Market Basket, for those of you in New England!) You don't need to go to a fancy food shop to find them. Just go to your meat department and ask the guy or gal in charge; they'll be happy to hook you up. Beef heart can occasionally be found among the usual offerings of steaks and roasts, but not all stores will order them unless they're getting them for a specific reason. The meat guy told Fuzzband that we didn't need to order the entire case, but any of the hearts that we didn't take would be offered in the store to other customers. Because of the low demand for beef heart, Fuzzband agreed to take the entire order. So we had about 12 pounds (8 tasty hearts) for me to enjoy.

The hearts were packaged by "Rumba Foods," and vacuum-sealed so there was plenty of time to enjoy them once they had arrived. My husband was curious about other organ meats that Rumba offered (since he also keeps a lookout for things like kidneys and oxtails), and was excited to find a recipe section featuring a yummy-looking idea for cooking the hearts when simple skillet cooking proved to be boring for me.

He couldn't remember the name of the dish, but he described it to me: It was pieces of heart, trimmed, chopped into pieces, and marinated in a spicy brine; then the meat is placed of skewers and grilled. The name, he said, was an unusual Spanish word. "It sounded like... some word I'd never heard... like... choochacheechachoo... or something like that."

The real name for this dish is Anticuchos, which is a Peruvian treat made of any type of meat (but most often beef heart) which has been marinated and skewered. You can find the original recipe for Anticuchos at the Rumba website, along with all kinds of other interesting ideas. (It sure would save money if I ordered some tripe and learned to make Mondongo at home! YUM!)  There's another recipe for it on Wikibooks, but it seems a little more hot-centric than spicy flavor-centric.

Because my own recipe is an Anticuchos variant, and while more or less true to the original, I call my version Choochacheechachoo after Fuzzband's made-up memory lapse word.  It's a whole lot of fun to say, too, especially if you whisper it really fast.  Choochacheechachoo!  Try it! :)

CHOOCHACHEECHACHOO

INGREDIENTS:

1-2 beef hearts (use 2 if they're small; you need about 2.5-3 pounds)

A handful of minced cilantro (about 1/4 cup -- see my notes at the end)

2T ketchup

3T cumin

2T dried garlic pieces (or 4-5 cloves of minced fresh garlic)

1 tsp black pepper

1/4-1/2 tsp hot sauce (I like Frank's; this is optional, and you can use more if you want more heat)

white vinegar (anywhere between 1/2 and 1 cup, depending on how much heart you have.)

EQUIPMENT:

sharp knife

cutting board or plates

one-gallon freezer bag

a grill

about a dozen or so skewers

After you've removed the hard fatty lumps, the connective guts, and the "silver skin" from the outside of the heart, you'll have a big yummy piece of meat to work with.  All of the fat is on the outside of the heart, and once it's gone, what remains is lean and delicious!  Slice the meat into strips; I can usually get between six and eight strips out of one heart.  I used two hearts for this batch, but once I had a 3-pounder that made over a dozen strips! 

Put the strips in your plastic bag.  Add the remaining ingredients.  Close the bag, making sure to get out as much air as possible, and massage the seasonings into the meat.  Put in the fridge and marinate a minimum of 12 hours.  (I have marinated my choochacheechachoo for as long as 2 days, but overnight is best IMHO.)  The vinegar will tenderize the meat; the garlic and cilantro will blend together and create a fantastic flavor.)

When you're ready to grill, put the meat strips on skewers.  Cook them on a hot grill for about 5 minutes (a couple of minutes per side) until they're cooked to your doneness preference.  Set aside for 10 minutes or so after grilling to let the meat rest.  Each piece of choochacheechachoo should contain around 2 ounces of meat, so this recipe should serve about 5 or 6 people if everyone has 2 or 3 pieces.  It's also a fun and satisfying party appetizer for a crowd, too!  Leftovers will last several days in the fridge, and are awesome hot or cold.  I don't even bother reheating them the next day; choochacheechachoo isn't greasy since all the fat has been trimmed!

My camera ran out of batteries before I got a good picture of the final product, but my next batch (below) didn't have nearly as much cilantro as the one that was prepared above.  It was still tasty, though I think cilantro and tons of garlic are necessary for the best flavor!

NOTES:  I like having the meat cut into strips rather than chunks; it's juicier that way, plus it feels so deliciously primal to yank the meat from the stick with my teeth!  If some of your strips are a little short, it's definitely OK to combine them for a more uniform portion size.  And if you hate cilantro, use fresh parsley in its place.  It's not exactly the same, but something green in the marinade will make for a tastier choochacheechachoo.

Save Our Planet Earth

Yahoo! is going to be deleting Geocities this year... taking away some informative websites that have been around since the beginning of the internet as we know it. The Internet Archives at http://www.archive.org will be trying to get as many sites as possible until that fateful day, but many will be gone forever!

 The original URL is http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/8319/savethearth.html. Our planet is in peril, so if you haven't started doing the baby steps below, you'd better get cracking! :)

We've got to Save Our Planet Earth!

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Oh, No! Our earth is in trouble, and we've got to save it!Oh, No!: Bad Facts about our earth

• If you throw away 2 aluminum cans, you waste more energy than1,000,000,000 (one billion) of the world's poorest people use a day.
• Making a new can from scratch uses the uses the energy equal to half a can of gasoline.
• About one third of what an average American throws out is packaging.
• More than 1,000,000,000 (one billion) trees are used to make disposable diapers every year.
• In one minute, 50 acres of rainforest are destroyed.
• Some rain has a pH of 3 or 4. (which is pretty acidic, considering 7 is neutral, not acidic, and battery acid has a pH of 1). Some fish, such as lake trout and smallmouth bass, have trouble reproducing at a pH of 6, which is only slightly acidic. Some clams and snails can't survive at all. Most crayfish are dead at a pH of 5. You can see how bad this is for the environment.
• On average, a person in the US uses energy two times more than a person in Japan or West Germany does, and 50 times more than a person in India.
• About 90% of the energy used in lighting a standard (incandescent) light bulb is lost as heat.
• Air conditioning uses 10 times more energy than a fan, therefore, it creates 10 times the pollutants.
• It takes half the output of the Alaskan pipeline to heat the air that escapes from all the homes in the US during a year.
• Cars and pick-up trucks are responsible for about 20% of the carbon dioxide released into the air.
• There are about 500 million automobiles on the planet, burning an average of 2 gallons of fuel a day. Each gallon releases 20 pounds of carbon dioxide into the air.
• About 80% of our trash goes to landfills, 10% is incinerated, and 10% is recycled.
• Since there is little oxygen underground, where we bury our garbage, to help bacteria eat the garbage, almost nothing happens to it. Scientists have dug into landfills and found ears of corn still intact after 20 years, and newspapers still readable after 30.
• The average American makes about 3.5 pounds of trash a day.
• In a year, the average American uses as much wood in the form of paper as the average resident of the developing world burns as fuel.

26 things we can do to help:

1. Turn off lights.
2. Turn off other electric things, like TVs, stereos, and radios when not in use.
3. Use rechargable batteries.
4. Do things manually instead of electrically, like open cans by hand.
5. Use fans instead of air conditioners.
6. In winter, wear a sweater instead of turning up your thermostat.
7. Insulate your home so you won't be cold in winter.
8. Use less hot water.
9. Whenever possible, use a bus or subway, or ride your bike or walk.
10. Try to buy organic fruits and vegetables if you're concerned about pesticides. (Organic food is grown without man-made fertilizers and/or pesticides).
11. Don't waste products made from forest materials.
12. Use recycled paper and/or recycle it. Reuse old papers.
13. Don't buy products that may have been made at the expense of the rainforest.
14. Support products that are harvested from the rainforest but have not cut down trees to get it.
15. Plant trees, espessially if you have cut one down.
16. Get other people to help you in your cause. Make and/or join an organization.
17. Avoid products that are used once, then thrown away.
18. Buy products with little or no packaging.
19. Encourage your grocery store sell environmentally friendly cloth bags for people to use when they shop, or bring your own.
20. REDUCE, REUSE, & RECYCLE.
21. Compost.
22. Buy recycled products.
23. Don't buy pets taken from the wild.
24. If you have a good zoo nearby, (if the animals are healthy and the zoo takes care of them), support it! Espessially if they help breed endangered animals.
25. Don't buy products if animals were killed to make it.
26. Cut up your six-pack rings before throwing them out.

ALSO... If anyone has any URLS to favorite GeoCities pages, please post them below. :)