Picadillo Time!

Well, it's been a few months... and I've done a few things that I've wanted to post sooooo badly!  But for some reason, I've been kind of lethargic about that stuff.  I think the relocation just hit me harder than I realized it would!

But, after weeks of being like "Oh, this would be such a fun thing to post on PGS!" today I was like, "Screw this, even my humble dinner recipe HAS to be posted!"  So today, since a bad cold has been kicking my social circle in the ass all week long, my friend Fluffy and I decided to make some yummy spicy picadillo for dinner.  Fluffy and I shared the picture-taking duties.  Here's my recipe, and no, it's not really authentic at all.  But it IS inexpensive, forgiving, great for when you have (or need) lots of leftovers, and aside from the ridiculous amount of sodium, can be quite nourishing and yummy.

INGREDIENTS:

Solids:
* 1 lb ground beef (preferably quite lean, 'cause draining it is a pain in the ass)
* 1 lb ground turkey
* 1 10-oz package of Morningstar Farms "Grillers" crumbles (or your fave equivalent)
* 2 huge-ass chopped red, white, or yellow onions
* 1 red and/ or green bell pepper (use half of each, or one whole one of each if you love peppers... you could even go crazy and add a couple of jalapenos or banana peppers)
* 1/2 cup diced celery with chopped-up leaves for flavor
* a few tablespoons of capers
* 1 1/2 whole kosher dill pickle, or 1/2 cup olive style of your choice (I want olives, but Abil {A Boy I Like} has a psychic allergy to them, so pickles it is!)

Liquids:
* 1/2 cup wine; marsala is recommended
* EITHER the small can of tomato paste (how many ounces is that? 6?) or a 14-ounce can of chopped tomatoes
* water
* A splash of red wine vinegar or pickle juice -- hell, use both like I do!

Spices:
* 1/2 teaspoon crushed dried rosemary
* 1 tablespoon dried garlic or garlic powder (use to taste; I like a lot)
* anywhere between 1 and 5 bay leaves; use your favorite number.
* a big pinch of allspice & a big pinch of clove (optional but yummy)
* 1 1/2 tablespoons cumin
* 1 tablespoon paprika
* 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
* 1/2 teaspoon chili powder
* 1 teaspoon hot red pepper flakes (use to taste)
* 1/2 teaspoon oregano, thyme, or basil
* Optional: a few drops (or gallons) of Frank's hot sauce!
* Also optional:  A packet of Sazón Goya, for that delicious hit of MSG.  I would avoid adding any additional salt, as the pickled stuff and cooking wine has plenty.

Gases:
Not 'til later! ;)

Step 1.  Chop that onion and celery, get it sweating over the stove!  Use some olive oil if you have it, or just a bit of cooking spray.  Medium or low heat should do it.  Cook until the onion is see-through-ish and/or brown. 

Step 2.  Dice your peppers, process your pickles (either digital or analog methods will work fine), and get your spices ready while you wait for the onions to be translucent. 

Step 3.  Toss all that shit -- your peppers, your spices (except the Goya, the bay leaves, and the Frank's) -- into the pot!  It's better to put your spices in while the veggies are cooking so that they get coated with delicious seasonings right away. 

Step 4.  Add your tomatoes and/or paste, swirl it around until it's evenly mixed.

Step 5.  Add meat, breaking it up into luscious chunks.  Turn up the heat if you need to.  If you want a vegan recipe for picadillo, you can always substitute your favorite meat analogue for the turkey and beef as well; nothing else in this recipe is animal-based.  I have tried it both ways, and it's awesome no matter what protein you like.

Step 6.  Here is where you add everything else: the wine, the vinegar, the "Grillers," capers, pickle, bay leaves, Sazón if you choose to use it, and just a bit of hot sauce -- you can adjust the heat later.  Stir everything up until it is mixed well, then add plenty of water.  Ideally, you want the entire mess to be completely covered and then some.  (This picture was taken after about 45 minutes of simmering, so keep that in mind.)  At this point, get the heat to medium-high, and then turn it to low after it has begun to boil.  Stir it now and again as it simmers, making extra sure to scrape the crap at the bottom of the pot so it doesn't stick and burn.  No one likes a ruined picadillo, except maybe your pet rats, but they really shouldn't be eating onions or garlic.

Here it is, bubbling frantically on the back burner!  It's almost done after about an hour...  Keep stirring and waiting.  I bet your kitchen smells awesome right about now!  Reminisce with your friends about how, years ago, this would be right around the time you'd be getting ready to go out clubbing... and then you eventually had other things consuming you, like arthritic hips and finding ways to pay for your Geritol addiction.  Ahh, memories!

And now, approximately an hour and a half after adding the water and crying over your lost youth, the picadillo has come to the perfect consistency: The liquid has reduced beautifully and everything has come together perfectly, so now it's almost the consistency of chili or a dense meat sauce.  There will still be some yummy liquid floating around in there, but it's fine and delicious.

 DONE!  Serve over rice and enjoy it!  (Also, marvel over how your new iPhone makes everything look 109482983958 times nicer than the crap-ass old cell you used to take kitchen pics with... wow!)