Soy-Free, Gluten-Free, Vegan Fake Meat! (Part 1)

Behold: "I Can Believe It's Not Meat, But What the Hell, I'll Still Eat It!"

Living with a vegan can be a difficult thing when you love meat and dairy.  I don't think I could stand giving up things like chocolate, sushi (with fish, not just veg), and cheese.  Poultry would be a tough thing to quit, as well.  My nutritionist agrees that, because of my special dietary requirements, I should not have to give these things up as my need for protein trumps my desire to have less animal products in my diet.  As I always say, if it's something that you need to do... you need to do it! ;)

However, that doesn't mean that I'm not a good flexitarian.  Lately I've been taking to making a "universal" meal for the household that everyone can eat -- it's gluten free, soy free, and vegan -- but then we include extra add-ons in our own individual plates.  It is working out so far!

By the way, last week I watched my first episode of "Dr. Oz" ever, and he said that 20% of the world has trouble digesting gluten!  Ahhh, delicious gluten.  I don't know if I'm in that group or not, but due to my household's needs, the "universal" method seems to be working fine.  I use the vegan food as my side dish, and usually add a big ole hunk of soy or animal flesh to my portion.  Fuzz will eat the vegan food and possibly add extra carbs (which I can't have), such as potatoes or rice with his portion.

Doesn't that look similar to a big plate of nasty raw meat?

I have found several "vegan meat alternatives" online, and here's one that I Frankensteined together based on a number of different recipes.  It looks like ground beef, and is perfect for adding into things like pasta sauce, tacos, chili, shepherd's pie, and other things that require some tasty ground beef-like vibes.  This is a good one if you like that slow-roasted flavor, and if you're fortunate enough to have a gas oven (I'm not), I bet you'll love it even more!


Ingredients:

1 head of cauliflower, trimmed and cut into florets

1 3/4 cups of walnuts

about half a can of beets, drained and chopped

5 ounces of raw mushrooms

1-2 Roma tomatoes, chopped

2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

Here's ours after about half an hour.  1 more hour to go!

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 teaspoon granulated garlic

1 teaspoon liquid smoke

1/2 teaspoon of your favorite seasoning salt

2 pinches of sage

(Optional: 2-4 tablespoons of rice protein powder to amp up your protein!)

Preheat your oven to 400*.  Chop up your cauliflower and blend it in the food processor until it's very fine in consistency.  Next, chop your mushrooms, tomatoes, and beet.  Add them along with all of your other ingredients into the food processor, and give them a good whirl!  Mix everything together in a big bowl and knead it just like you would with a meat loaf.

Take one big cookie sheet, or in our case, two baking dishes, and fill them up with "meat."  Pop them in the oven and find a way to stay busy while these things cook.  They're going to need somewhere between 45 minutes and an hour and a half to get nice and dark and well-cooked!

Not bad at all! :)

You'll know it's done when it's a darker color, resembling ground meat.  Keep in mind that these crumbles are very loose; ours were not clumpy in any way -- I think they would be awesome if they were more clumpy for things like tacos or whatever, but I was still happy with the loose fine texture.  Pair with your favorite gluten-free pasta & vegan sauce, and you have a dinner that will evoke those good old non-restrictive food days!