HoodieGate's Happy Ending

Did I ever tell you that my cool-ass BFF Dax has an Etsy store?  It's true!  Most of her stuff centers around the more perky side of life... bibs & adorable stuff for babies of all genders, which she's really good at making; she's also got some wheels turning for other cute things in the future.  (I may even be able to make a case for catering to the darkling demographic!)  Dax has an eye for the kawaii-est fabrics on Earth, and her search for them has spanned several continents!  (Well, two continents -- but still, she came back with some good stuff.)  I did talk her into making a sleep mask that said "FUCK OFF", as I saw one on Shameless, fell in looooove with it, and I just know other people will want one!  The one that she made was a sparkly pretty pink instead of a bad-ass black... with the words in a fancy cursive, which somehow made it even cooler.  I love the idea of an offensive text written in script on something pink and girly!  She and I have different styles, but there are lots of places where our interests overlap.  I think that makes a much more interesting friendship!

However... not all differences between friends are going to turn out great.  For example:  A few months ago, my friend Fluffy was popping some laundry into my washing machine, and instead of hanging my magical hoodie to dry, he scrunched it up and put it on my "nest," which caused an apartment-wide hunt for the missing hoodie.  When it didn't turn up (because everything in my apartment is black, making it a very challenging search!), I was pretty effing devastated.  It's hard to find a summer-weight hoodie that's at least 30 inches long.  If a big girl is wearing stretchy yoga pants (or leggings!), then trust me, you want a CTB (Camel Toe Barrier) at the ready!  And with all of the bustle and activity that I have planned for these warm sunny months -- visits to my adopted local family, physical therapy, doctor's appointments, and possibly pool-based workouts on the reg at the Y, I am going to NEED a lighter hoodie to see me through all of these trips out of the house.

Everyone tried to console my broken heart, and believe me, it was BROKEN!  Fluffy placed an order to Junonia in an effort to help me move on with my life, but alas, it wasn't the same!  Dax combed the final-days clearance rack at Fashion Bug (home of the original hoodie), but alas, lime green was all they had in stock!  Even my man, Fuzz, combed the internet, searching valiantly for a good replacement.  What we found was this -- the "tag-free hooded lounger" from Woman Within...  It is long enough to go down to my ankles, but still nice and roomy for all my layers... he thought maybe we can have it redone.   "Let's try it," Fuzz said, reassuringly.  "We'll get the old ladies to fix it up good!"  (His tailors are old ladies... he calls them "the old ladies.")  The nightie came in the mail, and it does look like it can easily be converted.  We can cut it up, slice the middle, and plant the zipper.  Plus, I got an enormous one, so it will be nice and big.  What we'll do with the leftover fabric, I've yet to determine!

I was telling Dax about my idea, and she offered to help in order to give it a personal touch that the old ladies could not.  She suggested that I buy a YKK zipper, since they're the best.  And it's true... those are the kind you see on jeans and higher-quality garments.  Fun fact:  When I was a kid, I thought it said "KKK," but it actually doesn't.  My old hoodie measured about 30 inches, but since I'm having it my way like Burger King, I'm going to try to get something maybe 33' or 34'.  I want that thing down to my knees!

It's hard to find YKK zippers in very special lengths, I've found.  The ones I've seen are like $12 dollars or more for a metal-teethed one -- which isn't too bad, considering I'll be having this thing for years! But I want to make sure it's going to work out.  I just found this one on Amazon for $6something, plus shipping, which sounds all right to me.  I think 32" will work out fine.  I'm super excited!

By the way, you know you're (a) loved, (b) feared, or (c) owed a ton of favors... when you have that many people trying to soothe your broken heart over a hoodie. I like to think it's a combination of all 3. ;)  It's true that I have some weird connections to my clothes, but it's really nice that people are so understanding about it!  I'll be letting you know how the new one turns out!